Reforming Students

Steve Wright is the author of the book ReThink. After reading the book very carefully, I am one of the most enthusiastic supporters of what Steve has written. Through his book, as well as in personal conversations, Steve has been a great encouragement to me, letting me know that I’m certainly in good company when it comes to reforming student ministry. He is a great worker for the Kingdom, and I am blessed to have the opportunity to learn from Steve’s wisdom and experience in student ministry. He has worked tirelessly in his pursuit to reconnect parents with their children in primary discipleship roles, and has encouraged the Church to reconsider their unbiblical practices when it comes to how student ministry is done. While Steve certainly is a proponent of student ministries, he (like many of us) sees a great disconnect from what God commands compared to the models and methods that many local congregations have adapted to.

I had the great privilege of interviewing Steve regarding ReThink the book, the upcoming conference, as well as his experience in as a pastor in student ministry.

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Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Originally from Gainesville, Georgia, I met my wife of 19 years while attending Carson Newman College. When I graduated, I took with me the girl of my dreams, three seasons of All-American wrestling honors plus a National Championship title, and a life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ. A wrestling teammate modeled Christ and the Gospel for me and taught me to understand the Lordship of Christ in a believer’s life. I have never been the same.

It is my great honor to love Christ and serve His church. I have worked in student ministry for over 20 years, with the past nine of those years here in Raleigh, NC, at Providence Baptist.

Tina and I have three incredible children: Sara, William and Tyler. All three are in my student ministry today.

What motivated you to write ReThink, and how long have the ideas in the book been “brewing”?

reThink has been working me over for close to twelve years. I started seeing friends whom I respected begin to leave the ministry, their marriages struggling and ministry- effectiveness dwindling. As I met with men much older than myself, there didn’t appear to be great soul rest their personal lives. I couldn’t accept the fact that my wife would grow to hate the church (Christ’s Bride) and that my children would “obviously” suffer from their father being a pastor. Something had to be wrong!

This unrest in my heart drove me to ask tough questions. There were times I wanted to throw in the towel, weary of the consumer mentality of church where, no matter what we offered, it was never enough. I saw the ineffectiveness of the current model of student ministry and it troubled me to the core.

The question that kept me awake night after night was pointed: What does God’s word have to say about ministry to students?

Give us a short synopsis of what the book is about.

Theology. As strange as this may sound coming from a student pastor, reThink is about theology.

The book is the result of an insider’s quest for theology that would serve as a foundation to produce “lasting fruit.” When we set out on the quest, we said, “Let’s dig into God’s word for answers, and for once let’s quit playing games and admit that the results of the traditional model of student ministry are not acceptable.”

In reThink we look at the two institutions that God has given to us for spiritual formation: the family and the church. Many guys today graduate from our seminaries without even a basic biblical understanding of the first institution, the family. If we do not understand God’s purpose for the family, then how can we equip it and partner with it in ministry?

I felt early in ministry that I understood the second institution, the church. Now I confess that the church growth movement shaded my perspective greatly. Unfortunately, I was trained that my greatest worth to the church was simply to get more attendees. I received praise when my ministry grew larger, but sadly, few of those students were true disciples.

What do you think the most common view is regarding the relationship between student ministries and parents? Why?

We talk a good game, for sure. Every ministry talks about this great concept of “Partnering with Parents.” Tragically the extent of this partnership is a once-a-year meeting where student pastors lay out their plans for the next 12 months to a group of adults that they have never met. Most student pastors couldn’t tell you three quarters of the parents’ names, but they are “partners.”

There several contributors to this common, but unhealthy, ministry model.

First is the student pastor’s young age. Young pastors are intimidated by parental expectations, whether real or perceived, making the notion of asking parents for help in ministry unthinkable. (Fear)

Second is the machinery that is already in place. Student pastors often find themselves running something that was created a long time before they arrived on the scene. To admit that what the ministry has been doing for some time isn’t effective is tough for some churches and pastors. (Pride)

Third is the consumer-driven demand for entertainment. When a guy starts to back away from the student ministry entertainment business, church members complain. We all like the bright lights, the big show and the Christian celebs. A ministry that is driven by prayer, Bible study and service to the church doesn’t appear quiet as “FUN.” Isn’t that our calling? Make it fun so more will come. (Poor Theology)

I love fun. Fun is, well, fun, but now I refuse to build my ministry on it.

On pg. 53 you wrote, “Student ministry in many cases has become the local YMCA or teen amusement park; students check in and out, but mostly out. After all, once they have experienced years of fun-and-games, all-you-can-eat, no-responsibility, free-from-parents amusement, then we have helped train their appetites for pleasure to find more alluring fulfillment in the adult world.” What are the allurements that you are speaking of specifically, and how are they affecting the 21^st century Church?

The “allurements” are anything that attempts to add to the Gospel. Jesus said, “Deny yourself daily and follow me.” Is all the stuff we are doing making true disciples of Christ?

Here is a one word answer for the most alluring thing of all: self. Daily I wrestle with my ego and my will. It’s pride. When we teach parents and students that the church exists for them exclusively, we are building a greater consumer mentality. Self takes center-stage, not Christ. But the church exists to glorify Christ, to make much of Him.

We are finding today that our efforts to move youth from program to program to program leave them empty upon graduation. Many of our students leave the faith. Are we presenting the true Gospel to our young people when we try to attract them to programs rather than the Christ? Are our students burning with a passion for Christ when they graduate from student ministry? Are they eagerly serving God’s church?

You make a great point in the book that “busier is better” is certainly not the case because it takes away from the time that teenagers are able to spend with their families, being discipled by their parents. What do you think has been the major influence behind the “bigger is better” and “busier is better” ministry model?

David Wells says, “If you and I begin with the purpose to get more rather than glorifying Christ then we will entertain every imaginable idea- whether it is biblical or not”. Our churches are busier today, our pastors are busier today, and our families are busier today. We have more resources, more money, bigger churches, more pastors, more programs and more options. We also have more divorces and more students abandoning their faith, and we are reaching fewer people for Christ.

If we believe that reflecting the world’s efforts and baptizing their ideas will work at reaching a generation, we are in big trouble. God’s word is God’s word. It is living and active and profitable for all things. Always has been. Always will be. When we start tweaking the message to make it culturally attractive, we are in danger of losing the power of its truth altogether.

I really don’t want my events to look like the latest Christian version of an MTV show. I meet weekly with 8^th grade boys at my house for discipleship. We worship, we read God’s word and then we all get on our knees together and pray. There is no show or gimmick that brings these boys back each week. But they are tremendous Christ-followers.

I know that you hear from a lot of different student pastors in all areas of the country. What is the most common thing you hear from them regarding the struggles they have in student ministry? What encouragement can you offer them?

I received an email from a guy this week who said that after 16 years of ministry, he is struggling with throwing in the towel. My first encouragement to these guys is that I will be praying for them. Second, I ask them about their ministry to their own families; and third, I encourage them to dig deeply into God’s word. Not for a sermon or Bible study to prepare a message for others, but really to dig in until the hear Him speaking to them, personally.

Many of the guys I speak with feel they are left out on an island with little support. They feel they were hired to do a job but never mentored and equipped for this ministry. My heart breaks when senior pastors call me looking for another student pastor and comment that they can’t keep a student pastor today because they leave every two years. “That’s just the way it is today.” Trust me, it isn’t always the senior pastor’s fault when a student pastor leaves, but I know that Paul knew he had a great responsibility with young Timothy.

If the church is going to keep hiring guys so young to lead their students, then we must address the need for a mentor in the young man’s life. I would also encourage churches to reflect more on 1 Tim 3: 1-7. I was a pastor at an early age and I was not prepared, trained or “proven” and neither did I meet the 1 Tim qualifications.

When you first moved toward a ministry paradigm that included more parental involvement, what surprised you most about the response of the congregation you were serving?

Our biggest surprise was God’s incredible favor. The more we took small steps, the more clear the direction became. The vast majority in our family of faith embraced their God-given responsibility and were eager to be equipped.

You mention in the book that your church hosts several different seminars, training events, discussions, etc. for parents regarding their ministry to their own children. What are some of the things you do in those gatherings and how effective have they been?

Every ministry event we have has a parent component. We seek to resource, train or involve parents with everything we do. For example, during our discipleship weekend in the fall (Metamorphosis), we ask our parents to stay after registration for time of equipping by one of the other pastors in our church. We make sure they have copies of the schedule for the weekend and invite them to join us for the large group sessions. When we are at summer camp (Impact), we offer parent prayer meetings (Impact@home) during the week in homes throughout Raleigh. When our students meet at church on Wednesday nights once a month, we offer a Parent Refuge for prayer and Bible study.

More importantly, every ministry in our church seeks to build and equip the family. This isn’t just one person’s job. Education ministry teaches parenting classes on Sunday mornings. Women’s Ministry hosts mother-daughter events, such as a fashion show where moms and their girls learn biblical truths about modesty. Men’s ministry opens Bible studies and outings to fathers and their teen sons. Those are just a few examples.

What do you believe is your primary purpose as a pastor to students?

Simple. My primary purpose is to honor God and make much of Him.

What about teenagers who have parents who are non-believers? What do you think the church’s role is in their lives?

Great question. It’s one that burdened not only our staff, but also our volunteer workers. The amazing thing that has happened for us is that our parent-partners have not only engaged more in discipling their own children, but their mentoring mentality has spilled over to the students who come from non-believing families.

We want to identify as early as possible those students whose parents aren’t believers, don’t attend church, or choose not to accept their God-given role as primary disciplers. Remember that we aren’t called to develop lifelong youth group attendees. Instead, we strive to prepare all of our students for life beyond high school. The majority of these students will grow up, marry and have children. What will their marriages look like? What will parenting look like for them? What spiritual role will these students have in their children’s lives?

Obviously the best training ground would be their own homes, if they honored Christ. When this isn’t the case, we seek to provide mentors who model the practical side of what it means to follow Christ. Many of our Refinery leaders and host homes exemplify this biblical framework for our students.

What is the motivation behind the ReThink conference?

Churches eager to begin the transition to a “Integrated Discipleship Model” have been contacting us weekly for guidance. I desire to meet with each of these church leaders individually, but there is simply no way to do so. Our pastoral team decided to invite all those who are beginning this transition to come to Providence for a day of training and encouragement. We wanted each ministry represented to see that they are not alone in this endeavor.

We invited Randy Stinson to join us for the evening. Randy serves as President of CBMW and also as Dean of the School of Leadership and Church Growth at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. He grew up near Tampa Bay, Florida, and studied at the University of South Florida (B.A.). After sensing God’s call into the ministry, he went on to earn degrees from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary (M.Div.) and The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (Th.M. and Ph.D.). For ten years he was a local church pastor, and served for seven years as Executive Director of CBMW. As President, Randy draws on his extensive academic and pastoral experience in giving vision and speaking on behalf of this organization.

We are humbled to have participants from 16 different states registered already. We decided to offer this event “free of charge” so pastors would see our desire to encourage. We live in a day in which everything seems to be for sale. The pastors on our team are pulling together a wealth of resources to give away during the conference.

What are you most excited about for the ReThink Conference?

I enjoy connecting with the guys who have been struggling with the same issues that I have struggled with. Hearing their stories inspires me and gives me great hope for the church.

Is there still room, and what can we do to get the word out?

There is still room. The biggest contribution people can make at this point is to email their friends or blog about this event. Because the event is free, we have no budget for marketing. The best thing to send is the link to the www.rethinkconference08.com website, where details and registration information are posted.

What other things do you have in the works for the student ministry community?

The other thing I am working on is a blog to encourage parents and churches daily in their true partnership of making disciples. www.lastingdivergence.com. This site is only two weeks old, but we have had a ton of visits as parents and pastors are spreading the word. By the way, this is FREE as well.

We really need bloggers to help get the word out about this site by adding the link to their blogrolls.

How can we be praying for you?

Please pray that God will give me a greater desire to know His revealed truth so that I might represent His grace well, first to my family and then to others.

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